.... but they are cheap!

Now, I've traveled a lot on Eastern European trains during last 2 months, last night I came about 10 hours from Sarjevo to Budapest and tonight I'll do it again to Krakow. I think I've got them sussed.... So, given that they are cheap, often comfortable, sometimes the only transport and did I mention cheap (yes grab your fake ISIC card!) here's my advice:

1) First get supplies , food, water, beer and a book.

2) When you see the train arriving eye up the crowd for size. The question here is will they all fit in the carrages? Also look for any old local women.

Note: There is no seat allocation and tickets are open for 3 months. So no one knows if everyone will fit in. However, they do split up the carrages and reconect them to different trains. So ask which carrage your is.

3) At the first opportunity rush onto the train. (Do not climb in behind the old women, use the other door). When you get to a cabin hold it while any friends arrive.

Note: All cabins can hold 6 people but sleep only 3, some only 2.

4a) Best case scanario:Now you've got some territory, make it home, close the doors, pull the curtains, fold out any 'beds' and lay on them. This will encourage roomless people to look elsewhere. It sounds harsh but you can always give up a seat later if people aren't seated and you'll thank me at 3 in the morning.

4b) Worst case scanario: In spite of your best efforts the train is full, an old lady is in the process of removing a young man from his seat (admittedly if it was the tube in London he would have volunteered 5 minutes ago but then again old women in London don't push in like this!). So you and your bag are going to be spending several hours in the isle, mostly standing, ....this is where the beer comes in handy. If your lucky some seats will clear later.

5) Lastly, tickets will be checked at all major stops and borders. Passport checks obviously come in 2's, this side and that side. It's tempting to turn your light back off after the first check but wait out both and the ticket check. The border patrols don't have any bed side manner, they just open your door, turn your light on and bark "Passport!!"

If all goes well you will feel almost half human in the morning.